


Say You Want It

by Fervious



Series: Spiderpool AU Oneshots [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Female Peter, Genderbent Peter - Freeform, Genderbent Spiderman, Genderfluid Peter, Genderfluid Spiderman, aka Spiderwoman (but it's Peter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:08:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22731484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fervious/pseuds/Fervious
Summary: Patricia Parker is the impossible Spiderwoman, whereas Peter Parker is regular scientist and inventor set on obtaining his second college degree. Wade Wilson wants to fuck both of them, but doesn't know that Peter's actually a woman. Shenanigans.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Series: Spiderpool AU Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1625992
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Say You Want It

“For a lady who does acrobatics on the daily, you act like you have a stick up your ass whenever I’m near,” Deadpool had snarked from his post by the door.

Peter had huffed, instantly on the defensive, “Oh yeah, because I’m supposed to relax when I’m working with an infamous mercenary that the _entire_ Avengers team told me to stay away from.”

Pool hadn’t even looked up from where he was guarding the doorway, focused on his job of watching Peter’s back while she worked on accessing, copying, and erasing the files they needed, “You disobeyed the Avengers to hang out with me? I’m honored.” 

Peter had scoffed from her seat at the chair, “You make it sound like I’m a trained dog,” she’d snarked in response. Peter highly resented the idea that the Avengers kept her a leash. Because no matter how bedazzled or thin, a leash is a leash. She isn’t even a member, why would someone insinuate something like that?

Deadpool had glanced back, then without looking said, “You use Iron Dick’s technology-”

Something hot and angry uncurled in Peter’s chest and she didn’t fight it this time, “Deadpool. If you don’t shut the fuck up right now…”

The mercenary continued, “So I just assume Stark is your suga-”

The sound of metal grinding cut them both off, and Peter looked down to find she had bent the metal arms of the chair. She was never supposed to lose control like that, losing control meant she could hurt someone. Deadpool looked affronted, “Wow, okay. Of all the things to piss off Spiderwoman, I didn’t think that would be it.”

Peter glared, but the uncontrolled rage building had been doused by the fact she had lost control for a second. Her voice was nonetheless absolutely venomous as she replied, “I’m not supposed to be offended when you _assume_ that Stark produced my suit?” She sneered, ”Tony would wet himself if he saw what I’m packing under here.”

The silence was uncomfortable, enough that she felt the mercenary was suitably chastened. Her focus migrated back to the display and completing the retrieval. Deleting took several minutes and for once the merc was completely quiet. Who knew calling out sexist assumptions would shut the man up? 

Once the files are secure Peter stands up and strides past the merc without a word. If Pool thought she had a stick up her ass before, she’s sure to make it obvious that she’s seething. Pool doesn’t say a single thing as she makes it to their extraction point - a room with a window ceiling. She’s meticulous when she climbs the rope, using her abilities to gracefully scale the rope without any actual effort. 

Once to the roof, she’s careful to scan for any goons and secures the perimeter while Pool finishes climbing. Once he’s reached the top, she webs his chest while he tightrope walks the metal frames around the panels. He uses the web like a rappel, leaning backwards and balancing. It’s not as deftly as Peter could do it, but it works. Once clear of the windows and on solid concrete again, he’d walking towards the nearest exit and Peter is sure to follow.

It’s the longest the merc has ever been quiet and when they finally get to the drop point, Peter can’t help but wonder if she should say something. But she’s not going to apologize for defending herself, that’s for sure. She crosses her arms. Deadpool pauses, just long enough for her to realize that they both want to say something. But since she has no idea what she’s going to say, she just grumbles, “Spit it out.”

The merc doesn’t hesitate, “I’m sorry. I know you won’t believe me, but I don’t usually make those kinds of assumptions.” Peter squints at the merc, clearly unwilling to accept the apology upfront. Despite it being sincere and honest, she’s still angry.

He seems to shift with nervous energy, “And for one - I really enjoy when we work together. You give me the time of day. And now I know you do it whilst knowing the Avengers think it’s a bad idea,” he pauses as an idea comes to him, “I… can I make up for it somehow?”

Peter pauses, frowning. He wants to make up for sexism? It’s clear life as a mercenary has made the man think in terms of trading services and items as a basis for all his existing relationships. An idea forms, and Peter considers it heavily. If the mercenary really values Peter’s time, maybe… just maybe, she can save lives with this trade. 

She doesn’t let her body language go slack though, although the hope is overriding any anger left over. She holds that angry body language and uses it to narrow her eyes, “One month.”

Deadpool’s eyes widen and he stops wringing his hands, pausing, “One month of…?”

She asserts, “No killing.”

The sees the way his eyes flicker as he considers the trade. At first he seems tempted to spit out no way, nope. But he mulls over it longer and eventually just relents, “Okay.”

Peter’s relieved. For a second, she thought a month was an overly demanding olive branch. But the mercenary had accepted it after some consideration, so maybe she was underselling how lonely the man really is. Before she knows it, tinges of pity color her subconsciousness. But she brushes it away. She hopes that he can hold her promise, that he will do what he says. An overwhelming majority of her doubts he will be able to follow through. But, she gave him a chance to prove otherwise. That’s something. 

It’s something more than he deserves, but she offers it anyways. Because she’s a hero and if there’s anything a hero can properly enjoy, it’s a damn good redemption arc. She makes sure to make a show of jumping off the building, ignoring the way the mercenaries' eyes appraise her curves. 

It doesn’t bother her like it does the other heros, villains, and mercenaries. Other men look at her because she’s a woman. Deadpool doesn’t - he gives the same look to men, too. In that respect, Deadpool is an equalizer. He doesn’t pick and choose who he leers at - the man leers evenly across all genders and sexualities. She finds it genuinely refreshing.

As a civilian, Peter had always had problems with relationships ever since she’d been bitten. All the boys had found her muscles intimidating or unappealing. She had been annoyed by how it made men feel emasculated. Eventuallly she’d sucked it up and decided she wasn’t really conventionally attractive. She settled on baggy clothes, plaid, glasses, messy buns. Eventually everything became more and more tomboyish until one day someone had accused her of being a, “tranny”. She had found it offensive at first, but that term created an interest in exploring her gender.

Four months later, she had her head buzzed short by an extremely apprehensive MJ. Peter was now passable as either gender, so she decided to play around with packers and binders. Once she realizes this can help dissuade anyone from linking her to Spiderwoman, she decides to legally change her name to Peter Parker. No one is going to think a _man_ named Peter Parker is Spiderwoman. 

And it works. Seemingly overnight, not a single person outside of his middle school peers remembers a day where there was a female Peter Parker named Patricia Parker. God, what an awful name. She much prefers Peter. 

Deadpool doesn’t show his face to Spiderwoman for three days. Little does he know, he meets Peter Parker next Tuesday. 

\---

Peter’s rationale for using the same taco joint as Deadpool is simple - they’re simply the best tacos in town and she’s not going to let a mercenary ruin that smidge of happiness for her. So when she spots Wade Wilson at the taco joint, she ignores him entirely and focuses on the course work. She’s working on her second degree.

Pool doesn’t do the same. When he spots Peter, his expression is open and sincere when he gasps, “Wow, you’re the cutest boy I’ve ever seen!”

Peter’s caught by surprise and has to fight back a titter because, jokes on him, Peter’s _actually a woman_. Pool continues, “And he’s giggling! Oh, you’re adorable,” he pauses, “and you have a great taste in tacos like me. It’s practically a match made in heaven!”

Peter takes this as an opening, “I don’t get called cute very often,” she informs him.

Wade pauses like someone hit pause on a cutscene- he obviously was expecting discomfort, a glare, or silence from Peter. Not a civilian willingly engaging in conversation with him, “Oh. That’s a shame. Because you’re really cute.”

Peter’s happy to accept the compliment, “Really? Not too muscular for you? You seem like the type to prefer twinks,” she teases shyly.

Wade huffs, borderline offended, “Oh no, muscles means longer love making sessions. And really great wall sex.”

Peter’s realizes she allowed the conversation to go out of control, “Yeah, I guess,” she replies lamely. She’s never actually had sex more than a couple times, and it’s been all oral. It’s kind of hard to get around to dating when your entire identity is built around a gender you’re _not_. On the bright side, she’s really good at oral for both genders. But don’t tell anyone that.

The mercenary picks up on the sudden awkwardness and presses closer, stealing the pen Peter was using on his coursework to doodle down a phone number. He holds his hand out and teases, “Your arm, if I may?”

Peter’s smile returns and she holds her arm out, allowing Wade to write the digits of his phone number on the back of her hand. The ink feels cool to the touch and the glide of the felt tip isn’t offensive. If it was her wrist or crook of her arm, it would have tickled. When he’s done, Peter looks at the number, “Hmm, shouldn’t I have a name to a number?”

Wade’s voice is light when he replies, “Wade.”

Peter shot him a smile in return, “Peter.”

She doesn’t feel bad giving him a name that’s technically fake - it’s not like Patricia is a dead name, it doesn’t give him bad feelings. It just doesn’t fit her personality. When Peter thinks of ladies named Patricia he thinks of elderly ladies who bake too-tart pies and oatmeal cookies. It’s never fit, it’s never been quite right. 

Wade skips away and Peter can’t stop grinning as she finishes her lunch. She double checks her answers to the questions because she’s not focused enough to move to the next question. 

Peter has two phones - one from Tony Stark that’s heavily encrypted, and a regular cell. He can only afford both because Tony has him on a free plan. Peter made sure to dig through the phone and disable all it’s tracking abilities before she used it, which paid off when she needed to do things the Avengers disapproved of - like going on missions with Deadpool. 

It didn’t stop Tony from trying to drop additional trackers on her new suit, but she’s careful to check for trackers before she comes home from patrol. Tony may know her identity, but it doesn’t mean she wants the man to be able to keep constant tabs on her. She didn’t think it was much to ask, but apparently it was. Maybe, just maybe, Tony has an overprotective streak. It would be endearing if Peter wasn’t offended by how it made her feel infantilized.

But their relationship throughout the years had evolved immensely, and despite Tony’s mentorship and materials she had groven enough to ask for that space and build her own toys. Tony had been supportive - up until she had started hijacking JARVIS and disabled the backdoor Tony had put on the suit she’d been provided. 

Wade’s lucky enough to end up on Peter Parker’s contact list rather than Patricia Parker aka Spiderwoman. She’s not exactly sure what to text him, so she doesn’t push herself to text him right away. When it comes to her, she smiles.

Peter: Hey, it’s the cutest boy

Wade’s reply takes less than eight minutes to come back, but it feels like forever.

Wade: Wow, you actually texted back  
Peter: Well yeah, I love being called cute.  
Wade: What about being called sexy?  
Peter: Uh, I don’t really like being lied to  
Wade: Daddy doesn’t lie

Peter shifts in her seat. She… would be really offended if while Spiderwoman someone made a conversation this sexually charged. But in this context, it actually caught her off guard enough to be enticing.

Wade: Sorry, I shouldn’t have sent that  
Wade: Can we still be friends?  
Peter: Surprisingly, it doesn’t bother me  
Wade: Really?  
Peter: Yeah, I guess you’re special  
Wade: I can make you feel special too, baby boy

Peter flushes down to her roots, shouldering her backpack a little bit more firmly. Rarely is anyone so genuinely attracted to her, and if it was anyone else she would feel bad for leading them on. But it’s Deadpool, and Deadpool doesn’t care what’s in her pants. 

Peter: Shouldn’t you take me on a date first?  
Wade: If that’s what you want, baby boy

When Peter’s finished with tinkering with the stealth function of the new suit, she decides it’s a great time to test it. The suit is in its early testing phase, and she enjoys refining her craft. This particular model has the enhancements needed for stealth. 

What better way to test it other than creeping on Deadpool to see if he’s making an effort to honor his promise? Her efforts to locate the merc starts at the taco stand, towards his apartment, and outside his favorite bar. All these areas are suspiciously empty and she decides to recall the information from the drive she’d copied and forwarded to him two nights ago. It doesn’t take long to find the mercenary.

Peter finds him duking it out with several hand henchmen and she decides to trail him. It’s very obvious that Wade’s holding back, mostly choosing to punch and overpower his opponents. Not a single one is dead when the fight is over. Peter’s pleased by this, and flattered. Who knew a mercenary could actually uphold promises? She descends down the wall, using the shadows to cover her entrance. Deadpool’s talking to himself under his breath and she has to strain to catch tidbits of it.

Deadpool muttered as he started looking for something, “Shut up, White.” He finds whatever he’s looking for, “I checked him out. He had degrees.” he pockets the drive, “Yellow, what do you mean ask Spidey? Spidey is a strong independent woman who doesn’t give free dating advice.”

Peter decides this is a good moment to step out of the shadows. Deadpool jumps back and draws his katanas as reflex which she finds a bit disappointing, “AAAAARGHHoh- Spidey?”

Peter can’t help but be smug. It’s hard to sneak up on Wade; all her prior attempts had sucked. Her suit definitely gives her an advantage. She saunters across the space, “What did you find?”

She hears Pool take a deep breath and he digs in his pocket, offering the drive to her. She accepts the flash drive, but Wade doesn’t move. Eyes narrowing as she tries to find logic behind his stillness, she fixes Deadpool with an enquiring look, “What?”

Wade shifts, “Uh, I really like your new suit.”

Her face twists in confusion, “Thanks, but I didn’t install Deadpool kryptonite in this model? Want to share.”

His reply is earnest and he seems mostly recovered, “Uh-uh. You’d find it offensive to be objectified. I’m already in the dog house as is.”

Peter snorts, “Are we going back to your place so I can hack the encryption on this?”

Wade appears to be back in working order, “Unless you have a special Spidey-cave somewhere. You are giving me catwoman vibes, you’re just missing a tail.”

“I have no idea who catwoman is, but the idea of having a tail is fucking awful,” she replies, slinging back up the side of the building. It’s easy to beat Wade back to his apartment and even easier to slip inside. She’s not exactly sure why he leaves the window unlocked, but she guesses that no one really bothers Wade and survives to tell the tale.

When Wade walks in through the front door, she’s sitting cross-legged on his couch with a laptop. The first level of encryption is simple and she’s comfortably working through the second level. She’s using the built in claws of the suit to tap the keys and it feels weird enough that she’s not as fast of a typer as she normally is. It’s an annoying design overlook of the suit. It was a good idea to test the suit before she tried improving it. It probably wouldn’t feel so weird if she changed the way the claws were integrated into the shell.. Wade seems to flounder for a second, unwilling to approach her. 

She looks up from the keyboard, “What?”

Wade shifts, discomfort lining every inch of his body, “You know how they say female black widows often eat males alive?”

Peter blinks, then sniggers, “You and I both know killing isn’t exactly part of my image.”

Wade’s careful as he replies, “I’d happily let you eat me alive,” he suggests. 

Peter snorts, “Cannibalism isn’t exactly my thing,” she replies, fingers gliding over the keyboard as she resumes her task. Wade allows the topic to drop and if Peter had to guess, she’d guess the man is currently trying to kill a boner. Nonetheless, she finishes the task and scans the information. She tenses at the subject material, “Oh.”

Wade looks up from his desk, “What?”

“Uh,” she starts intelligently, “It’s a… sex trade ring. More like human trafficking, actually.” The information is pretty shocking. Yeah, she knew illegal trades were horredenius but she’s never really dealt with human trafficking. For starters, she has mixed feelings on the sex trade. She doesn’t like the idea that women put themselves in danger for money, not to mention the risk for sexually transmitted diseases… The whole idea makes her deeply uncomfortable. Spiderwoman has friendly relationships with several of the neighborhood hookers, but as far as she’s concerned, no woman should be desperate enough to risk selling herself. 

Wade’s watching her very carefully, like he’s not sure how to respond, “What do you want to do?”

Peter makes a noise of discontentment, “Free them, obviously,” she sighs, “But I know they’ll probably just go back to the sex industry,” she can’t keep the sadness out of her voice. 

Pool frowns, “Don’t most feminists support the sex industry nowadays?”

Her mouth contorts into a frown, “Yeah, well some feminists forget how depraved men can be,” the whole thing bringing up flashes of memories she’d rather not remember. 

Deadpool seems to take personal offense to this, “Hey, I have an excuse!”

She’s more serious than usual when she replies, “Not everything is about you, Wade.”

Wade’s eyebrows draw the use of his name rather than his hero name. However he seems to take the usage as a cue to pay very close attention to her tone, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She huffs, “I wasn’t snarking. Your sexually charged comments are pretty cringe-worthy, but that wasn’t what I had in mind.”

Wade huffed in fake offense, “Cringe worthy?”

She decided to get back on topic, “We need to do something about this. I have mixed feelings on the sex trade as is, but this is crossing the line.”

Wade stood behind the couch to peer at the screen, “I’m listening.”

Going in for a bust she knows the mission’s a bit too close to Peter’s heart. She allows herself to punch a bit harder than usual but she doesn’t lose control. They’ve moved onto freeing the victims, and she’s checking each room. She opens a door and there’s _blood_ all over a bedspread. Her stomach churns and it takes all her bravado to turn around and push Wade out of the way. Wade pauses in the hallway as she pushes him aside, “Spidey?”

She slams the bathroom door closed and lifts up the bottom half of her mask just before she vomits into the toilet, retching loudly enough that Wade says, “Well shit.” on the other side of the door, “Should I come in and hold your hair?”

Peter grumbles, “That requires hair.”

He can hear the frown in Wade’s voice, “So that’s why you never let your hair down. I’m a cancer patient, so we have something in common!”

Peter laughs, “You’re definitely cancerous.”

Wade sounds deeply offended and concerned at the same time, “That’s unusually dark for you, Spidey. Did you get drugged?”

She starts, “No there was… blood an- hrk.” She tries to push down the nausea, “On the-” she does not succeed. Thankfully, it’s just dry heaving at this point. Nonetheless the contractions of her stomachs have her gasping for a few seconds. Once it subsides, the heroine grabs a handful of toilet paper to wipe her mouth and flushes it all.

Wade’s polite enough to give her space as they pass through the rest of the rooms and it’s clear neither of them have the heart to make jokes as it becomes obvious there’s been some seriously nefarious acts committed in these rooms. There’s blood, shit, piss, semen, every bodily substance on some of these sheets. It’s clear by the amount of cameras and blood that snuff porn was likely produced here, and Peter’s feeling seriously ill by the time the whole building is cleared.

They can’t disturb too much since it’s evidence, but she can’t help but admit, “I’m feeling homicidal.”

Deadpool’s head moves on a swivel and his eyes are wide as he regards her, “Feelings mutual, Spidey.”

Peter doesn’t have the mental energy to text him later that night.


End file.
